by Angela Counsel
We’re talking all things celebration this month and while the concept of a Secret Mum’s Date crosses over with self-care, it can also be a celebration – of you and what you have achieved. Pop it in to your Celebration Box!
So, what is a Secret Mum’s Date?
They are for YOU and YOU only. You don’t take anyone with you. No kids, no partner, no friends – no one. Just YOU.
You know what? When I have worked with clients they will do everything I suggest. BUT they baulk at this one. Don’t. You need it. You need time out just for you. You need clarity. You need silence. You need peace. You need to recalibrate.
Let’s get down to logistics. A Secret Mum’s Date should be:
- A block of time just for you
- 1 -2 hours a week is a good guideline
- Pre-planned and scheduled
- Immobile and never to be cancelled
- Something that lets your soul breathe, your heart sing and your mind rest
It doesn’t have to be expensive. Mix it up. Get outside one week. Stay inside another week. Spend some money one month, do things that are low cost or free the next. Make it fun! Think back to when you were a child. Re-engage with your inner child, your innocence and a time you were free of pressure and worry. Find that little girl again and you will find mindfulness and happiness.
Here are my suggestions for some Secret Mum’s Date activites:
- A walk in the park and jump on the swing. Kick those legs up nice and high and feel the wind on your face
- Head to the beach and make a sandcastle, run away from the waves and collect seashells
- Turn everything electronic that pings and bings and beeps OFF and curl up with a good book
- Colour in. Colouring in is incredibly cathartic and slows the mind down
- Go for a bushwalk, listening to the sounds of nature and breathing in the fresh air
- Go to the local art gallery. Wander around, stand in peace and drink in the visual delights
- Go to a coffee shop, indulge in something sweet and savour every quiet, uninterrupted bite
See? Quite simple and cost effective things to do.
Make a commitment to yourself that you are going to give yourself at least one hour a week to have fun by yourself. To reacquaint yourself with…well, yourself! Schedule it in to your diary and DO NOT let it move.
Remember that you will be tempted to invite other people along or worse….wriggle out of the commitment.
“Oh, it’s too hard today. I’ve got too much on.”
“I’ll just move it to next week.” And then next week comes and….
“I’ll just move it to next week.”
To make a change, you have to commit to creating new habits. New habits that will have positive impacts on you, your emotional and physical health.
You can’t ‘divorce’ yourself or ‘break up with yourself’. So get to know yourself again the way you would get to know a new partner or a new friend, by taking time out to focus on just them. Or just you, in this case.
I bet you’ll like yourself once you do!
If you want to read more about Secret Mum’s Dates head to page 132 of my book Secret Mum’s Business. if you don’t have a copy yet, you can download one below!