by Angela Counsel
I speak to a lot of women whether it’s at networking events, in my Secret Mums Business Experience or when I am working one on one with them and one of the topics that comes up all of the time is guilt. I get asked…
“How to do I stop the guilt?”
My short answer is always – just stop it!
Obviously that isn’t the answer that I give with someone I have just met, but if you have been working with me for a while you will definitely get that answer. I was speaking to another coach a couple of weeks ago and we were discussing this concept of guilt and she said to me “guilt is such a wasted emotion”.
These words really summed it all up, guilt is a waste of time and energy.
Guilt is a choice and often happens when you are not living in alignment with your values or you are living according to someone else’s values. I have many Mums tell me that they feel guilty because they put their child into childcare. When I ask them why, they will tell me because they work or run their own business. I then ask them if they enjoy what they do when they are away from their child. If they say yes, then I ask them why are they feeling guilty? What message do they want to send their child, a message that they have to sacrifice themselves to make other people happy or a message that it’s okay to do things that make you happy? Inevitably they answer with “it’s okay to do things that make you happy”.
If you are happy and you are being a great role model for your child, then why feel guilty? Just stop it!!!
If on the other hand you are putting your child in care so that you can go to a job that you hate and this makes you feel guilty, then it’s up to you to make a change. I understand that many women need to work for financial reasons but there are so many different opportunities available for women now. You don’t need to spend 8 hours a day doing something you hate.
You only have one life to live. Why would you spend it feeling guilty and doing something you really don’t want to be doing.
SO! The big question …. How do you ditch the guilt?
- Stop feeling guilty about something that has already happened. If it’s in the past, you can’t change it. Learn from it and move on and accept responsibility for your actions and decisions.
- Stop feeling guilty about something in the future. You have no idea what is going to happen beyond this moment. Why waste your energy feeling guilty about something that might not even happen?
- Stop feeling guilty about something that is happening right now. If you don’t like it – change it. If you can’t change it – accept it and move on.
- Realise that guilt is only a fear. Often it is a fear of not being good enough.
- No one can make you feel guilty (not even your children). Be clear with what you are doing and why you are doing it and accept responsibility for your own actions.
- Think of it as releasing a balloon. Visualise releasing a balloon into the atmosphere. That balloon represents something you are holding on to guilt about. Release it, watch it float away and then keep on moving.
Are you ready to ditch the guilt and live your best life?
One of the best ways to reduce stress in your life is to take some time out to have some fun. If you are a female entrepreneur who often feels guilty about taking time out for yourself then why not join us for the next Entrepreneur’s Playdate. These events have been created for busy entrepreneurs who feel like they are missing out on fun in their lives. Click here to learn more and to book your spot at an upcoming event.