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How to Define Your Values

by Angela Counsel


Core Values low resLast week we talked about busting the myth of life-work balance and focusing more on the concept of harmony.

The next step to take is to look closely at your values and make sure the are aligned with what you are doing in your work, your home life and within yourself. If your existence and the things that you do on a day to day basis are not aligned with your values, that’s where things go haywire.

And for money, that’s at the core of their stress, frustration, anger. When you are living in opposition to your values, you stir up resentment from within. That stunts you emotionally, mentally and eventually can lead to physical issues such as not sleeping, lethargy, headaches, stomach problems….the list could go on.

So where do you start with understanding your values? Let’s go through how to define your values.

1. Thinktank

Think about what is important you in life. Is it health, wellbeing, family, safety and security, financial security. What are the behaviours and the moral principles you live by, or WANT to live by if you’re not right now. Many clients give me a blank look when I ask them this. And I find that when they are answering with words such as ‘should’ and ‘ought to’, they’re spouting someone else’s values back to me. Focus on you.

2. Visualise

Think about being at your 99th birthday party where you are listening to what your family, friends, work colleagues and clients say about you. Write down what they are saying. How do they describe you?

3. Review

Review a typical day or week. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • How do I spend my time, energy and money?
  • What’s important to me?
  • Where do I have the most order and organisation?
  • What do I do in my free time, when I’m not getting paid?
  • What do I talk about the most?
  • What / who inspires me?
  • What do I love to learn and read about?

Answer the questions in full and then read them back. You’ll see some duplication. Make a list of these key points and combine them with the list you made about your 99th  birthday.

4. Prioritise

Now you have your list, go through the values and ask yourself if you could only have two values which ones would they be. Pull them out and continue this process until you have a list of values that truly reflect who you are. Delete any you’re unsure about. Once you have your list, prioritise them according to the importance you place on each value.

5. Align and action

Once you have your list, put it somewhere you can see it every day. Look at it. Live by it. Respond to situations and your every day life by incorporating these values into your behaviour. As soon as you are aligned to your values, the fog will life. I promise.


To go through this in detail, download a copy of the Secret Mum’s Business ebook below. Pages 21 – 28 guide you through this in step by step with a bit more guidance and information. You can also have a listen to a podcast I recorded on values. Click here to have a listen.

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